I've experienced pure emotions before...once upon a time in another life of another girl. But the ability seems beyond me at this point. Too much clutter. Too much complication. Every step, every moment shadowed with a hundred other factors that I can't deny or escape.
Do you only get one chance at pure freedom?
Do you only get one chance to fly?
To soar without tethers?
I know the choice is mine to remain grounded. But I have no desire to feel the guaranteed crash and burn of tumbling over the rocks I know are on the other side. Enough scratches and bruises scar my soul.
But the more I know...the more questions I ask...the more I learn...the less I can believe I'll ever find what I once believed could exist. Time seems to kill the possibility. Or maybe it's not time. Maybe it is just my naiveté.
Am I a fool to believe in honesty?
In truth?
In trust?
In friendship?
In love?
*sigh* Maybe I just expect too much. I know there are moments...fleeing moments when I don't think and simply let myself run pure.
A quick kiss and hug of pure friendship and laughter and fun. A moment of blinding sunshine I didn't question or analyze. It simply existed.
A glance and a smile with no hesitation or filter. No doubt or dilution. Friends sharing a moment of pure joy and happiness. It simply exists.
A touch. A caress. No thought. No caution. Lovers losing themselves for a moment to the pure pleasure found in one another's arms. It simply is there.
Maybe moments are all I'm capable of experiencing. A light occasional breeze to lift me up for an instant, but never enough to truly take flight and soar. Not enough to truly satisfy, but something to help get a girl through.
-Katherine
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