But spending an hour or two laughing lightens my soul and makes me forget all the thinking I tend to get lost in.
Mr. Sarcasm is one of the few good things out of last year. I met him walking the dog, and his quick wit and smartass comments convinced me to take a chance. I took his email address, and we quickly became good friends. No drama. No pressure. Just two people sharing some time now and then.
And I took another step tonight. The Last Boy Scout told me the other night that I need to get out of lock down mode. I'm a paranoid bitch. lol I'm cautious to the point that I won't give out my number, and unless I know you real well you won't know my address. I let Mr. Sarcasm pick me up tonight. We've known each other six months now, and tonight was the first night he was in my driveway.
The Last Boy Scout had a point. I do need to let down my guard a little bit, and let in those that care and who deserve my trust. I've found though that few people deserve my trust. No...few people deserve my complete trust. I tend to give only slices of myself to those around me. The pieces I can trust them with. They have to earn it. It's not given freely. And once they fuck up, another slice is shaved off.
But maybe the pot I'm pulling from is a little...spoiled. In the last four years, my "friends" have all pretty much stemmed from the office. Not necessarily a bad thing, but too many piece then overlap. I've paid for that overlap in many ways.
I need to branch out more. Have a bit of diversity in my circle. Mr. Sarcasm has definitely added a great flavor to the mix. The Last Boyscout too...smart, funny, kind. *sigh*
There's hope in some of the people around me. Not necessarily for grandiose accomplishments, but for moments of laughter and joy.
Katherine
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