So I ran into the question like a brick wall.
Now I'm on my knees.
Trying to catch my breath.
Wondering if I've destroyed a huge chunk of the little beauty I have.
To go back.
Even for a moment.
Reopens the wound.
The smear of its ugliness still taints me.
No amount of time.
No amount of distance.
Will ever completely wash away the horror.
My failure.
My weakness.
My sin.
The crushing fall of memories.
The explanation that's never enough.
The bitter taste it all leaves behind.
I'm falling.
But there's no one to catch me.
No more tears to fall.
No more punishment to take.
Yet the tragedy will never completely relinquish its burning grip.
Katherine
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