What To Do With Her

She's hard to recognize.

It's been so long.

Possibly decades even.

I don't know what to do with her.

I'm unsure how to respond.

How to cope.

I'm afraid.

To give in.

To accept.

But what if...

Do I want her here?

Do I need her here?

Can I risk her here?

So unfamiliar.

Someone I hardly know.

She'll want things I can't give her.

A weakness.

A luxury I can't afford.

A reality I can barely face.

So...sweet.

So...gentle.

So...fuckin' damn fragile.

Tell me...

Can I protect her again?

Or will she only bring me tears?

Could her reappearance destroy me?

I've had to stay strong.

No choice.

No rest.

To fight.

To breathe.

To survive.

She could force me to my knees.

She could unravel my armor.

She would let open the gates.

I love her.

I hate her.

But I think I need her.

She may be my only hope.

Maybe it's time I let her stay.

I just don't know what to do with...

The softer side of me.

Katherine